1 in 4 experience a miscarriage… a statistic you NEVER think you’ll fall victim to… until you do. This past Saturday, Kyle and I handed our second baby over to the Lord after a very mentally tough miscarriage… It has been one of the hardest yet most peaceful valleys we’ve had to walk through.
While we may never understand the reason, I can’t help but thank God. Thank Him for protecting us; Thank Him for welcoming our baby with open arms; Thank Him for holding us with so much love; and Thank Him for walking with us in the valleys, not just on the mountaintops.
This season has deepened my faith, grown my marriage, and allowed my family to bond in a strangely amazing way.
I’ve debated what to share, rewritten how to say it, and just downright scratched my head at how miscarriage is such a normal thing… yet such a very taboo topic. I myself have even fallen into the “brush it under the rug” mindset because that’s how it has been handled for decades.
But why can’t we flip the script on how we support women (and families) walking through this season? It is such a common thing, I guarantee you probably know at least one family who has walked through it, AND if they’re still grieving, that’s okay!
Instead of brushing it aside or getting uncomfortable when they bring it up, try to be a burst of light and fresh air for those families! After all, that’s all we could ask for as humans… to have bright, happy people around us.
After walking through this ourselves, there are a few ways I hope I can encourage us to change perspectives and reactions to Miscarriages. Next time the topic is addressed…
Give Space
Give them a space to express their emotions. If they feel comfortable sharing, be open enough to listen with no added remarks. It feels good to get it out. And you can learn a lot about that person and the situation.
Offer Support
Offer them support. Some people need to be physically surrounded, so see if they’d like some company or invite them for dinner. Others need space, so offer a FaceTime date or drop off dinner (without helping yourself to stay).
Cheer On
Cheer them on. The walk is tough. The thought of trying again is tough. Some families walk through multiple miscarriages, which is exceptionally tough. Ask how you can verbally support them to cheer them on when taking the next step.
Send Good Vibes
Lastly, offer your spiritual presence. Everyone’s spiritual walk looks different, but at the end of the day, we all say our words of good juju to something. Prayers, love, and good vibes… all make their way to that couple. I truly believe the love and prayers we felt made walking through this tough time feel like puffy clouds of peace.
I’m not sharing for condolences because I know God is in control. I am sharing because I want us to create a community that allows this topic to be normal, not left for the small group of people walking it. We can’t do life alone.
