Military Spouse Support

Happy Friday y’all! Can’t believe we are done yet another week… this year is flying! This week I’m switching it up a tad for my life hack Friday’s! Instead of a life hack for yourself, I’m talking about ways to support your friend with a military spouse. This subject is near and dear to my heart because clearly, I’m that military spouse! Before being in a military relationship, I truly had no idea what our service members went through… let alone what their spouses went through! Military life is an entirely new life that most civilians do not understand. But, here I am to give you some hacks on how to support your friend in a military relationship! 

First and foremost, the one I think all military spouses can agree on is to NEVER say the words “I completely understand where you’re coming from” or “I understand how hard this is.” This is everyone’s go-to line regardless if it’s military or not. I’m guilty of saying it myself. But, unless you’ve been in their shoes you truly do not understand! It’s the most difficult thing in the world to be at home while your spouse is on orders/deployment/missions. Most of the time while they’re gone, you don’t have contact with them. So, yes you may understand how hard it is to be away from your loved ones. But what you don’t understand is that knot you get in your stomach when you read on the news about an attack on a camp where your spouse is deployed or a bombing on a boat where your spouse is deployed. When we say “see ya later” to our spouse (we never say goodbye) you truly do not know if that’s going to be the last time you hug them or hear their heartbeat. So you may understand how hard it is to be away but you truly don’t understand how tough it is waiting day in and day out for them to come home, which can take anywhere from a couple of weeks to a few years! 

Now that we got over the cliche helping phrase, let’s get into the goods! If your best friend or child moved across the country because of orders don’t be afraid to pester them! Yes, you may not want to seem annoying, but hearing from what we call home can warm the heart. It reminds us that there are people not only cheering on/thinking of you but also they’re cheering on your spouse! It can get tough being thousands of miles away from your entire family and all your friends! So hearing from people reminds us that we aren’t alone even if we may feel alone! 

If your friends or family are lucky enough to stay in town for orders or waiting to move, spend time with them! Their orders can change so quickly and before you know it your friend can be moving halfway around the world! Soak up the time you’ve got with them, they’re going to appreciate and cherish those times so much especially when they’re feeling alone! We love to be around people, especially if our spouse is deployed! Life can get so lonely and truth be told that can take a toll on anyway, let alone someone who is just sitting on the couch at home counting down the days till their spouse is home! 

Leading off of spending time with them, if you can… HUG THEM!!! Odds are they have gone probably a couple of months without any physical contact! Sometimes when they’re feeling low all they need is a hug! That touch to know you’re not alone and you’ve got this! Even if we break down crying on your shoulder, being held for those 60 seconds can change a persons mindset! To give you some insight on how true this is, I went my first three months into deployment without hugging anything until one day I picked up my cat (who was not happy) and squeezed the crap out of him just to get that satisfaction of hugging something! So if your friend looks like they need a hug, grab them as tight as you can and don’t let go! 

And finally, cheer them on! They spend every day cheering on their spouse, attempting to be their spouse’s backbone, manning home base, taking care of what needs to and on top of all that taking care of themselves! Don’t be afraid to remind them that they’re kicking some butt too! Those little weird words of encouragement can mean so much when you feel like you’re failing at everything!

Military life is far from easy for anyone! But, can be so rewarding at the same time! We are so proud of our service members and how hard they work day in and day out! On top of that, getting to hug your spouse for the first time in months makes you realize that all the tears, meltdowns in the parking lot at Taco Bell, sleepless nights and everything else we conquer in our lives are worth it all! The men and women who serve this country deserve all the credit in this world for what they do… BUT, so do their spouses because behind every good service member is a family unit pushing them!